I have a confession to make. I have a slight addiction well ok, a severe obsession with Missed Connections. What is that you may ask? WELL! Let me tell you, it is like a soap opera online, no that really doesn’t do it justice, it is spectacular and intriguing, and something you can get lost in for hours!!! It is this small section of Craigslist, not really the personals, and not really selling anything. Just writing about it makes me want to go and check it. Essentially people post to other people that they saw out and about and that they found attractive or shared a “look” with.
The best definition I have found online was from: www.socialstudiesdc.com : Romantic encounters in which two or more people are unable to exchange contact information—leading one of them to pine for the other before manifesting this pent-up pining in the form of a poetic, grammatically unsound, and often amazing post on Craigslist.
Some of the posts are just plain odd, some are completely hilarious, especially when you read the descriptions of the women the men write. Some are messages to exes – these I always get stuck reading. What was he thinking? Why doesn’t he pick up the phone and tell her how much he misses her…did he cheat on her? See what I mean…are you hooked yet?
Now, I don’t really look for any messages to me, hell they could all be to me, well, not really. But it is just interesting to look into what men are thinking….or really what they are always thinking with. It is like stalking with the hopes of actually meeting the person.
But it got me to thinking. What happened to the days when men actually approached women and said hello? Or how are you today? I don’t think that is creepy…in fact I think men who post on Craigslist are quite sketchy. I can’t remember the last time I was offended when a man told me I had a nice smile…unless if it was followed by ‘mind if I sit on it?’
I wish men in 2013 still had the balls to talk to women, without actually showing their balls…avoid King West at night is all I am saying.
Chivalry is not dead, I have men hold the door open for me all the time, men let me board and exit the streetcar before them. I have even had men offer me their seats…although one or two may have thought I was with child. But the days of men approaching women, unless completely lubricated in some thumping club, slurring words that could have at some point been a sentence, are over, and if that is how you are approaching women – this is why women don’t want to talk to you. Just say hi. Smile. Ask her name. Ask to buy her a drink. If she says no, so what? Who cares, at least you tried. And she may have said no, but she felt flattered, unless of course she is a total bitch, in that case, dude you are better off.
I am challenging myself to smile at every man I see this week. Not in a creepy way, but just to make men feel more comfortable, and perhaps at the same time make myself seem more inviting and approachable. I challenge you to do the same.