An Experiment with Tinder

Do you know what Tinder is? I didn’t – I was actually prompted by someone on Twitter to join it after I asked Patti Stanger where I could find a nice man, Patti didn’t offer joining Tinder as a piece of dating advice, it was a lovely young woman who did.  Don’t know who Patti Stanger is?  You obviously are not single, or don’t watch reality TV.  She is the host of The Millionaire MatchMaker, and the writer of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate, which I have read, and unfortunately it did not help – still single, still writing a blog about being single.  I do have to say that although I am still single, there was some great insight in the book, as with most self help books, there is some lesson to be taken away from them.

Anyway, I digress, I think I will do a whole other post on self-help books and the women who buy them (ahem, that would be me).

So I signed up for Tinder when I moved from a blackberry to a more up to date smart phone (missing my BB keyboard everyday).  Tinder is a dating/hook-up app available on iTunes and the App Store. You get matched up with people based on your location – and you can say yes or no, this decision is mostly based on 1 picture, yes it vain, yes it can make you feel horrible, but you don’t know if a guy has said yes or no to you, you only know when you both say yes (also known in Tinder world as swiping right), and then you can start chatting it up.  It is essentially the Grinder for straight people.  I am going to guess that if you don’t know what Tinder is you don’t know what Grinder is.  May I suggest you find the nearest gay male, ask to see Grinder on his smartphone and be prepared to be in awe – it is kind of amazing.  However, Tinder is to Grinder as straight social life is to gay social life.  Which is not as good.  Straight dating is full of men who love being single, but pretend they don’t.  There are creepers and weirdos everywhere, most of whom are usually already married, and looking to really ensure their children require 10 years of intense on the couch therapy, discussing why daddy was a man whore who had a serious online porn addiction.  I mean you know it happens – and I think I have been on a 1st date with at least 3 of these guys.

So after joining Tinder, I started to chat with a few guys, most seemed fairly harmless and normal, while others had the charm and wit of a dead skunk.  There were a few who didn’t seem like they were totally crazy, or just looking for a quick hook-up.  It is interesting to see what kind of people are on these sites, I know I am single and on these sites so I get the irony here, however,  I like to think I am not oozing with desperation most of the time.  I realize I am not everyone’s cup of tea, I am just hoping that somewhere out there is a man who thinks I am beautiful, and funny and sexy etc etc etc.  What I don’t want is what happened during this conversation….actually it wasn’t much of a conversation I captured a screenshot of my “Tinder Desperado”…I wasn’t sure what he was saying, but I was getting a stage 5 clinger vibe from him, so after I captured this screen shot, I blocked him.  I don’t know if he was trying to freak me out, but if that was his goal, mission accomplished.

There are a few things I want you to pay attention to when reading this conversation (you tinder3can click to enlarge it).  1. how often he is tinder messaging me, when I am not responding 2. that what he is saying is not really making sense, and 3. that in fact he is likely a nice guy who is terrible at utilizing text message.  In fact before I took this, I told him good luck that I felt he was coming on a bit too strong.  He liked that I gave him advise and thought he should start planning our future.  Listen, I just want to find a nice guy…I am tired of the creepers, the men who own more expensive shoes than I do, I just want a nice normal man…is that so much to ask?  One of my next posts will be on how I self sabotage, and assume that men are all a-holes.  I mean I have dated enough of them, my random sampling of dating has led to not a good percentage of nice guys.  So, my research is a tad skewed and so is my opinion.

Should you join Tinder? I mean why not, it is fun, you will come across random crazies, but if you ride public transit, you already see these types of people on a daily basis.  You may also get the random shots of nudity…again if you are out in a City you may see this once in awhile, I don’t know where you hang out…but if you are seeing penises on a daily basis…where are you and how quickly can I get there?

I haven’t been blogging or dating lately and for that I really do apologize, I am hoping things will start to look up.  I will continue to be apart of the Tinder world, as well other online dating apps, I will attempt to talk to men in public more, and with crazy people less.  I really do need to put myself out there more often, and not assume my experiences are the norm.  God, I hope they aren’t.  Once again, I will say if you know of a nice man please put him in touch with me.  I am open to blind dates…hey it may be featured on my next blog post!

If you would like some more information on how people are failing at Tinder, please check out the following link:

I am hoping these guys are from the USA and I won’t get connected with them.  But that would also make for an interesting blog post.



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