How Google made me a level 3 stalker


All of my blogs should now start with the following – “so there is this guy…”. Because if you are a single woman, looking for love, there is always a guy, whether he is the eye candy in the office, or the guy crossing the street, there is always a cute man that you will all of a sudden start thinking inappropriate thoughts about…or you are picturing walking down by the lake hand in hand. This is what all girls do right? It isn’t just me and my over active imagination?

So there is this guy, let’s call him Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers, is adorable, nice and up until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure what his name was.   So my friend/neighbour, who we will call the Tina Fey to my Amy Poehler and I see him, and she knows that I think he is handsome, and Tina, being the good married sort, ensures that Mr. Rogers and I are actually talking about normal everyday things…instead of me saying something completely inappropriate…tumblr_n6r5081I5K1sxby2go1_500

I get a little bit more information from him, name, occupation….and instead of leaving it at that, I proceed to go home and Google stalk him for a good 1.5 hours.  I mean I finish up our conversation as any normal mild stalker would do.  And I find some great stuff online about him…potentially single, hobbies, sports interest etc etc.  Now to somehow not ever comment to him that I know this stuff and still carry on a normal conversation the next time I see him is the real trick.  It will be a testament to my Google stalking abilities.

Why does Google make it so easy for us to stalk someone? Why do we do it? Why can’t we just accidentally run into the person when we are supposed to rather than looking up their hobbies, and favourite bars (thanks Facebook), and hang out there when we think they may be there.  I mean I have never gone that far, and likely will never I mean let’s be honest, I am good at Googling someone, but I am way too lazy to actually put the effort into stalking them beyond that.  I just wanted to make sure he is who he says he is.  I don’t want a surprise, like I used to be in jail, or I have 15 babies by 23 different women…you know those “Maury” guys.  After a certain point of Google stalking, I have to stop, I don’t want to know too much, it is unfair, it is ruining the mystery, and let’s be honest it is freaking creepy.  And no woman wants to be creepy…we leave that role to the men.  But he won’t be able to Google stalk me, my parents blessed me with a common plain name….he might as well look up John Doe.

I am hoping the upcoming days will bring a few more interactions with Mr. Rogers, from what Google has told me he is a pretty cool guy.  I don’t really want to rely on the internet for a romantic connection (please refer to the Tinder post).  I want it to happen organically, so I guess I will have to stop cyber stalking people.  Starting now!

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