Best and Worst


I was recently reminded of my best and worst dates ever.  Surprisingly, they were with the same man…although they were approximately 5 years apart from one another.  When I lived up in the great white north, I had started internet dating…seems like a lifetime ago, oh how I was so optimistic with the thought of the internet introducing me to my one true love…as you can guess from this blog, that never happened.

Anyway, I met this nice guy online, however he was from Southern Ontario, so we finally decided to meet, we would both drive half way and meet for lunch/dinner.  We met in a small almost northern town, we had what I still remember as one of the best dates ever.  We had a great meal at a quaint little place, walked around the town did some window shopping, we clicked…conversation was super easy, he was hilarious, and yet quiet, something I have realized recently that I do like in a man, I mean I make enough noise for 4 people, so it is nice to have someone calm and quiet beside you.  The date was fantastic – he was not only very handsome, but someone I clicked with instantly.  I mean I still think after all of these years it is still one of the best dates I have ever been on, bar none.  After the date, I think we both realized that we were 5+ hours apart and that it wouldn’t work, but we would stay in contact. And we did, we kept in contact throughout the years asking each other generally how we were doing, sometimes getting into interesting debates and it was many years later when I moved to the big smoke, or what Drake is now referring to as “The Six”, we started talking to each other online again (not Drake and I, although how cool would that be?).  The best date and I had agreed that maybe we should meet up, once more as there still seemed to be a spark there.  If not a spark, something was there….

So we met again, it was great seeing an old friend, someone I had such good memories of.  The first portion of the evening was great, catching up, sharing good food, drink and conversation with lots of laughs.  The second part of the date…well if you are a Seinfeld fan you will understand it when I say that I could yada yada yada over the rest of the date, but the yada yada yada would take you longer to say than the action took to perform.  So maybe just a very unenthusiastic and unsatisfactory “ya” would do.  It was a very disappointing to realize that something I had built up in my mind for over 10 years took less than 10 seconds to be finished – I have waited longer for food in the microwave….what is that they say about having high expectations?   I think it was Sylvia Plath that said “If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

I believe he was embarrassed, and let’s be honest, I was embarrassed for him.  I mean these things happen, and this had been 10 years in the making, so emotions were running high.  And before you are all like, OMG I can’t believe you are posting this, this poor guy – well let me tell you something about this poor guy.  I didn’t hear from him for awhile after the speed round.  And then I found out why, via Facebook, that he was an expectant father…he wasn’t married, but he wasn’t really single when we went out either.  So ya, real poor guy.  My heart bleeds for him.

So anyway, he looked me up on LinkedIn the other day, and you can always see when people view your profile.  So I decided to message him on Facebook – maybe he wanted to apologize, maybe he wanted to say something of great meaning, maybe he was wondering what was up with me.  His response to me saying, hey I noticed you looking at my LinkedIn profile was “I thought that was you. Hope you’re good”.  Maybe he was just being curious, but I wanted to prod a bit more…he wasn’t giving up anything or asking me anything other than Hope you’re good, but that really isn’t a question is it?  So after a few futile messages, I realized it was pointless and it was just another 10 seconds of my life he has stolen in a lack luster manner, and I will never get them back.  I congratulated him on being alive and still having the capacity to turn oxygen to carbon dioxide, and told him I look forward to our next check-in, in another 4-5 years.  He said “okie”.  I mean really.Make-Backup-Plan

I guess with social media, the odds of running into people you may have otherwise never seen again is much higher, which is very sad and unfortunate – I think it strengthens the case for removing ourselves from social media sites and living back in the real world again.  I am not sure what I expected to come of a random check-in via a social media site.  I was hoping for more than a general what up from a grown man with two daughters, yes, yes I was.  Is that unreasonable? I bloody well hope not.

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