I have been upping my online dating presence as of late. Let’s be honest, being single in the summer can be fun, but it would be wonderful to have someone to plan a weekend get away with. Head up to the cottage, go camping…something – anything. And yes I do realize I can do all of these things by myself, and I do, I just don’t want to do EVERYTHING alone all the time. And while I love that my friends are usually game to do odd things with me, I am pretty sure none of them want to go to a romantic dinner and a movie in the park. I mean they would go, and it would be awesome, it just wouldn’t be romantic.
So with an increased presence online, I am increasingly realizing that men are many things that women are often accused of being – desperate, lazy, and crazy. But men do something a woman would never dream of doing, being full of romantic one liners. We would never do this, because the man would run away faster than Rob Ford runs to his crack dealer. These are lines that men have used previous to meeting you with many many other women, and that have helped them in the past, but have no substantial backing or follow through. Such as future speak, this includes forward looking statements such as “we will go camping this summer”, “we will go to this festival in a month”. Yet, these guys have no intention of taking you anywhere – he hasn’t even met you yet, how can he even know he likes you? Truth is he doesn’t…but men see a picture of a pretty face and think, ya I could date her, and I should tell her all these crazy things and then she will actually like me.
I actually had a guy the other day tell me that he thought we were soul mates because I said I liked Boston Terriers and he owns one. I was like WHOA dude, we haven’t even met yet. If a woman said this, she would be looking at a blank text message, with a trail of dust leading from it, as the man would have run!!! I mean that is what this guy got, because honestly who says that after 4 messages? Thank you Tina Fey – this type of crazy talk needs to be shut down, it is a dealbreaker.
Did he honestly think that I would fall for his one-liner? Did he actually think soul mates was something based on liking the same type of dog? I fear I know the truth to this seemingly rhetorical question. But mostly it is one of those things, where he is faking a romantic gesture (way too soon I might add) with future speak to get what he wants immediately – which is essentially to get into my pants. I am totally game for a heart felt romantic gesture. Flowers, opening a door for me, even making sure that he walks on the traffic side of the sidewalk – these are all simple things, that all men should do before they hit 25. Grand gestures are just as amazing, but not required on an on-going basis.
I have also realized that a lot of guys just want to message, and text and then text some more. Without actually having to put in any effort, they are relationship lazy. I mean I have been guilty of it myself….it is much easier thinking about doing something than actually doing it. This not only relates to dating, but also grocery shopping, laundry in general getting shit done, let’s be honest, no one is going to wash your clothes for you…unless you invest in a maid. And who has the bank roll for that?
I would just like a guy to not say he wishes he was cuddling with me after a few messages, save that for after the 3rd date – save that for when we have actually met in person and you are certain you would like to cuddle with me. I would like to just once say, “oh I am not very good at cuddling, it gives me terrors, and I scream for as long as anyone’s arms are around me”. OR “OMG I love cuddling too, we must be soul mates”. Which would essentially end all communication.